Now the guy says that he will fix the water heater, but he will not do any of the other repairs that I requested (the ones noted HAZARDOUS on the inspection) nor will he reduce the price at all.
ALLOW ME TO RETORT!
I send back:
Fix EVERYTHING that I asked for and reduce the price by $1000.00.
OR...
Sell me the house for 215,000, fix the water heater, and I'll upgrade the electric.
Offer is good for 48 hours. Take it or go to hell.
Happy Halloween!
Water Heater Venting Vent piping not tight fitting at chimney not installed into a metal chimney liner, vent is lacking 6 clearance to combustible framing, lacking screws in joints.
Attic Wiring Attic has open splice of newer wiring, knob and tube wiring installed below/through cellulose insulation. Recommend evaluation and correction by a licensed electrician.
Electrical Kitchen Kitchen has ungrounded 3-prong outlets for appliances.
Electrical Bedroom(s) Outlets in rooms are not grounded 3-prong, lacking outlets in some rooms.
Electrical Bathroom(s) No GFCI protected outlet in 1st floor bathroom.
Garage Walls/Firewalls Garage structure is out of level, gaps in framing/blocks, incomplete soffit and facia.
Garage Roof Structure Garage roof structure is deflected.
Laundry Connections Gas dryer has plastic exhaust vent installed.
Installation & Operation Saddle valve connections for washer supply. Furnace is lacking recent Clean & Tune service.
Ground Fault Interrupters Recommend adding GFCI protection on all convenience outlets close to water and all exterior and garage outlets.
Electrical Living/Dining - Living room outlets on south wall are miswired.
Due to the terrible nature of the garage and the greed of the buyer, the purchase agreement was ameneded (addended) to include the fixing of all the hazardous items, fixing the front left burner on the 1947 gas stove, and reducing the price down $2000.00. He should be pissed, but I hope he'll contact me in the next day or two. Still in negotiations but it's almost mine.
And just for fun: Name That Beard
9:00 in the morning and some polished, slightly short dude with a movie-star plastered on smile, a bad dye job and the crispest white shirt I've ever seen in my life leaps into a small room with 16 pissed off people in it and yells at the top of his lungs:
"GOOD MORNING EVERYONE - HOW ARE YOU?!?!"
A few mumbles are audible from the 16.
"YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT - HOW ABOUT LET'S ALL YELL 'EXCELLENT' - OK - ONE MORE TIME - HOW ARE YOU?"
2 minutes with this guy and I no longer fear hell.
Eight hours and several public humiliations later I'm still alive. Tomorrow I get more of the same and then it's over for another year.
Today I'm up at 7:00AM so that I can spend my DAYS OFF at our yearly two-day Management Leadership Conference.
Nothing better in the world at 8:30 in the morning on one's day off than a motivational speaker and some luke-warm coffee. I tried like hell to schedule a colonoscopy for today, but to no avail. I'm going to have to suffer through this along with the other director level and above employees.
At the end of tomorrow's session we're all going to shoot clay pigeons.
I question the wisdom of robbing someone of their precious days off and then handing them a shotgun.
I spent over an hour today with Maria, my mortgage broker. We discussed 5/1 ARMS, we talked about 7/23 balloons, we talked about fixed-rates, cost of index loans, all kinds of crap. The interest only loan looks quite good to me. I'm the sort of person who is disciplined enough to send the extra $200.00 a month toward principle. I'm the kinda guy who sends the rebate forms in. I'm the kinda guy who pays off the 90-days interest free in 80 days. I can do that stuff.
But more importantly - There is a really good new breakfast treat available in your neighborhood.
It's known as The McGriddle.
It is the usual McDonalds sausage patty, which is almost palatable, but trick is that it is sandwiched between these two pieces of space-age pancake-like material. In this substance is the taste of maple syrup BAKED RIGHT IN!
It's genius.
They also grill the golden arches right onto the pancake-like matter so that you can remember what you're eating.
The McGriddle. It beats the hell out of shopping for a mortgage.
McGriddle Bad Beat Update
This morning I woke up dreaming of the delicious sausage McGriddle so as soon as I could, I showered, shaved, suited up and headed for the Golden Arches. At the drive-thru window I ordered a #11 because you get Monopoly pieces with the hash brown thing. The #11, as I'm sure you all know, is a SAUSAGE McGriddle, The Hash-Brown Thing, and a beverage of my choice (coffee). I'm 1/2 way down HWY 7 when I unwrap my McGriddle and discover the horror that is THE McDONALDS EGG SQUARE.
Yes. I was given a Bacon, Egg, & Cheese McGriddle.
Once the egg square hit the asphalt it wasn't that bad.
I need Tennessee Aveune.
The offer has been accepted. $218,500.00 and he's going to update the electric to 100-AMP 20th Century stuff. I sign the purchase agreemend (subject to my acceptance of the inspection) tomorrow night. I have the inspection on Wednesday, and I should be broke on December 15th or so.
Here are some pictures of the haunted mansion:
I'm currently accepting roommate applications.
At the risk of boring my readership (now averagingTWELVE HITS per day!) Here's the latest on the house....
I went to look at it again today at 2:00. The garage kinda sux, the roof is framed incorrectly and it's kinda.. well.... busted and stuff.
The electrical system is 60-AMP fuse box that's from 1900.
It's a teeny bit loppy, and most of the flooring in the kitchen and the living room is kinda fun-house-like. That is to be expected in a 103 year old house, so I ain't bitching too much about that.
I think the last offer I said was something like:
Ok - My highest is 217 and his lowest is 220. I can meet in the middle at 218.5 and agree to the December 15th closing, but only if he updates the electrical to 100-AMP.
HE sez that he'll do the 218.5 but he ain't going to update the electrical system.
Jesus. Is he really going to blow the deal for 1500? I think I'll let him if he wants to.
I think my final thought on the matter is what I will call back with tomorrow.
I'm going to return to my offer of 218.5, but only if the electric is updated. I'll leave that offer open for 48 hours - He can take it or leave it.
House buying sux.
Here's the latest. I guess Mr. House Owner can extend closing until December 15th which actually works great for me. I'm going to look at the place tomorrow at 2:00 at which point I'm going to have to make a decision.
Do I want to pay TWO HUNDRED TWENTY THOUSAND dollars on a little house in Hopkins?
What if I hate Hopkins?
What if the house falls apart?
What if I lose my job?
What if the garage sux?
What if those are NOT hardwood floors under the carpet?
What if the neighbors are LUTHERAN?
What if....
Ok... so the guy who was told I wasn't accepting counter-offers sent the following counter-offer:
$220,000.00 and end of November closing date....
I sent back word that if there was flexibility on the closing date (I'm looking for January 3rd) then I would like to tour the house again before I declined or accepted the 220 offer.
.... the waiting game once again.....
So the bastard counter-offers with $221,500 (it's listed at $223,900). I told my agent to tell him that I hate this game - I think the house is worth about $215,000, I'd be willing to pay up to $217,000 so send him an offer of $217,000 and let him know that I'm not accepting counter-offers.
This house-buying business gives me stomach pain.
I just wrote up an offer for $215,000.00 on a cute little house in Hopkins, Minnesota. I guess I'll know more tomorrow.
My Grandfather and namesake, Samuel Michael Hochman, grew up in a little town in Austria called Kolomea. Aparently he never talked about his growing up too much with his children. He fled Austria during WWII and aparently was one of the few in his family that escaped the murder of the Nazis.
I was playing with Google and found a site with some morsel of information about a city in Poland called Kolomea that was annexed from Austria before the war. The timeline of events was quite chilling when I imaginged that this was my family.
While my Mother is very interested in geneology and has traced her family back to Adam, my Father, I think, doesn't have too much information about his family history. I forwarded him the link and got back the following email:
Michael,
Thank you so much for the information. My father told me that he was from Austria not Poland . He was very sad about the circumstances that he lived in but never wanted to talk about them. He told me a story 3 days before he died which he held from age 12. Some day I'll tell it to you if I haven't already.
What's up with family secrecy? Why, if there is something important, would you wait 50-something years to tell your son? Why, if there is something so important, would the story not be passed on to me?
Knowing Howard, I've probably heard it. I recall a few stories about the Nazi occupation and an SS officer giving food to my Grandfather who was in hiding in a house, and I think I recall something about my him having to witness the murder of his own family. I guess that would be difficult to talk about.
I'm actually hoping my Father doesn't relay the story to me if I haven't already heard it. If his Father died 3 days after telling the story, I hope I don't hear it from my Father for a very long time.
I'll be tempted to Kill Quentin if I ever have to sit through another movie like this. I'll be DAMNED if I shell out another $7.25 to see Volume 2. I can't imagine sitting through another 1 and 1/2 hours of poop. I loved Reservoir Dogs. I loved Pulp Fiction. Hell - I even liked Jackie Brown!
What the hell happened? Where's the funny, clever, snappy dialogue? Where's the story? I got a lot of what seemed like self-indulgent kinda cool-looking, homage-giving, fun-making fight scenes.
Where was the shock value? I got a bunch of Monty Pythonesque severed limbs. It sucked. SUCKED. Perhaps I was expecting too much. Maybe the new Coen Brother's movie will be fun. I sure hope so.
The good news is - It looks like I have a fancy new GAP jacket for the winter! Jesse was nice enough to leave that jacket in my car.
So - Instead of renting the sky-writing plane to write in enormous letters across the entire sky:
Embracing my adulthood...
I have often maintained that few things about adulthood are even as close to as good as childhood. Childhood has no worries. Childhood is (ideally) happy, content, a life of exploration, excitement, and fun. Being an adult has the great complexities of relationships, sex, friendships, and work; responsibilities that are layered on top of each other and tangeled into each other. But adulthood has another perk. A certain beautiful essence. That certain something that truly seperates it from childhood.
When you're an adult, you can have cereal at absolutely any time you want it.
And if life wasn't sweet enough...
THEY NOW HAVE EVEN BIGGER MARSHMALLOWS!
I have one kick-ass new graphic, kids, thanks to Kathe. Maybe some day I'll be able to create magic like that. Pretty cool, eh? I think so.
He came to Uptown with me tonight and insisted that we stop by where he's staying to get his jacket. "I came to motherfucking Minnesota, and by God I'm going to wear this jacket".
We're at Java Jacks and the jacket is in the car. It's like 80 degrees or something. Last week I was golfing in a 40-something degree hail storm and it's 80 now. It beats the hell out of Phoenix, I'm sure. I guess since he's here for a few more days he'll get some use out of the jacket.
... and Roy is 1/2 dead in a hospital. I'm glad that didn't happen when I was at the Mirage watching that show. That must have been freaky for the folks in the show, and certainly a bad beat for Roy. The Mirage's web site still has the Siegfried & Roy part of their web site up (as of this evening) and I think that's in very poor taste. I don't guess Siegfried will ever team up with anyone else - That's a pretty damn big codpiece to fill.
Looks like the end of an era. Good Luck, Roy!
UPDATE!! October 6th, 2003 - Mirage Webmaster Gets A Clue!
I guess they must read my blog.
JSB Prelude & Fugue in C# Major
AH! The glamorous gaming industry! Pinkie rings, limosines, movie stars, and show girls! And then there is the glamor I got to deal with yesterday...
Michael: Excuse me sir? May I speak to you?
Sir: What?
Michael: I'm afraid I cannot allow you to play in here with wet pants.
Sir: I don't have wet pants.
Michael < looking down at Sir's urine-soaked pants >: Sir, you have left a soiled chair here in the past and I cannot allow you to play in here with urine on your pants.
Sir: One more hand.
Michael: Sir, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave. Now.
Sir: Ok. I understand